People I Know Who I Have Seen This Summer But Not Said Hi To: A Comprehensive List

Person: Kara
How I Know Her: We went to high school together.
Why I Didn't Say Hi: I vaguely knew Kara in high school, but I liked her. When we graduated we went to the same conservative Catholic college and lived in the same dorm, so our social circles intersected frequently. We bonded over our hatred for the faculty monks. She transferred after a semester and we never spoke again, because Facebook hadn't been invented. When I saw her it was late afternoon on a sweltering Sunday. She was wearing a blue and white striped maxi dress (everyone in New York is wearing blue and white stripes this summer) and drinking an iced coffee. I was dashing from babysitting to meet Asli and I had stopped off to buy a sheer flowered tank top (everyone in New York is wearing sheer tank tops this summer) to replace my sweaty cotton one. I was already half an hour late. She looked tired.

Person: Michael
How I Know Him: We went to college together.
Why I Didn't Say Hi: I met Michael at the same college I went to with Kara (I eventually transferred out as well). We both did theater. One time we had to practice a kissing scene for class and I suggested that we not kiss. He was at first a freshman pet and sort of a punchline, but he was such a genial guy that he became something of a legend among the theater people. I passed him on my way out of the subway on my way to clean Marcy's house. Marcy is the only house I still clean because she pays me so well that I can't pass it up. When I passed him I was walking at triple speed and he looked at me with wide eyes like probably he knew me but ultimately I didn't want to delay my payout.

Person: Errol
How I Know Him: We met on the internet a year ago and went on three dates.
Why I Didn't Say Hi: I was riding home late on the train and I looked like hell. I'd been dancing and my hair was pulled back and my makeup probably smeary and I was trying to sleep until my stop. When I looked up I realized that Errol was sitting across the aisle about six people away. I don't think he saw me. Our first date was fine; the second was great. On the third date we went to see the Blues Brothers movie in Brooklyn Bridge Park and he spent the whole movie singing songs from previous scenes while new songs played. He tried to put his arm around me but I shrugged it off. He texted me a little bit after that but it never took off. In the interest of journalistic integrity, a few weeks after that I tried to call him on an extremely boring Friday night, but he didn't pick up. When I saw him on the subway I pretended to be asleep.

Person: Carissa
How I Know Her: I met her through a friend a couple years ago.
Why I Didn't Say Hi: Carissa and I are Facebook friends but it has never run deeper than that; I saw her at a few parties and thought she was cool. Carissa has dark hair that's perfectly straight, with bangs and freckles. I have none of these things and I find her very glamorous. I was back at Brooklyn Bridge Park watching another outdoor movie (Breakfast at Tiffany's, thankfully no music) and I had to go to the bathroom, but the crowd was so thick that the edge of every picnic blanket overlapped another six picnic blankets. I had taken off my shoes and I was tiptoeing over people's blankets and sheets and mumbling, "Sorry, 'scuse me, sorry, so sorry," and right before the grass became a gravel path toward salvation I happened on a purple quilt. On the quilt was a laughing girl with dark, perfectly straight hair and freckles. But I really had to pee.

Person: The Mexican Tom Cruise
How I Know Him: I met him last week at PS1. He's a friend of another friend.
Why I Didn't Say Hi: I talked to him for about fifteen seconds at PS1 and after he left my friend James said, "That's the Mexican Tom Cruise." And he really does look like the Mexican Tom Cruise; he has the million dollar smile and the boyish charm and everything. I forget his real name. I saw him immediately after I didn't say hi to Carissa. I was crossing the street and he was crossing the other way, talking to his friend. If I'd stopped him to say hi, one or both of us would have been hit by a car. So I just kept walking.